Choosing yourself is not selfish. It is the deepest act of self-love. And yet, so many of us have been conditioned to believe that prioritizing our own happiness and fulfillment is somehow wrong—that staying in situations that make us absolutely miserable is a badge of honor.
But what if choosing yourself was the key to healing not just your own heart but also the generational cycles of sadness, pain, and suffering?
Choosing Yourself = Choosing Happiness and Fulfillment
Every day, people remain in jobs, relationships, social circles, and environments that drain them. Why? Out of loyalty. Because it’s the "right" thing to do. Because society, culture, family, or tradition tells them it’s what they’re "supposed" to do.
But when did obligation become more important than joy? When did we decide that suffering in silence was the noble choice?
We pass these beliefs down like a family heirloom, teaching each new generation that sacrificing their own happiness is the price of being a "good person." And then we wonder why the world is filled with so much unspoken grief, burnout, and disconnection.
Why Do We Fear Each Other’s Happiness?
At the core of this cycle is a deep-rooted fear: If we allow ourselves and others the freedom to choose fulfillment over duty, will everything fall apart? Will relationships end? Will structures crumble? Maybe. But perhaps that’s not a bad thing. Maybe the systems that require our misery to function were never meant to last. Maybe the relationships that only survive through guilt and obligation were never built on real love to begin with.
Why do we resist seeing each other truly happy? Is it because it forces us to confront our own unhappiness?
Choosing Yourself While Still Caring for Others
Now, this is not to say that we should abandon those who rely on us for their survival—children, adults, or animals who are not capable of caring for themselves. What I’m talking about is the situations where we are so far out of alignment with our heart and soul’s true calling that we cannot show up fully for anyone, including ourselves, and those who depend on us. You can still choose yourself and get into alignment while finding a way to care for those in need.
The truth is, when we align with our true selves, we tap into a deeper source of love, energy, and wisdom that allows us to care for others more fully and in ways that honor our personal path.
Giving Yourself Permission to Leave
Leaving the spaces and places where you are truly unhappy is not a failure. It is an act of radical self-love. It is an act of courage. It is an act of faith in the possibility that life has more to offer you than quiet suffering.
When you choose yourself, you set a new standard—not just for yourself, but for everyone watching. You become living proof that happiness is not a sin. That fulfillment is not selfish. That staying stuck is not the only option.
So, ask yourself: Where have you been staying simply because you were told you should? And what would your life look like if you gave yourself permission to choose something different?
Choosing yourself isn’t always easy. But neither is living a life that isn’t yours. The difference is that one path leads to expansion, to joy, to true alignment. The other keeps you caged in a story that was never meant to be yours forever.
You get to decide. You always have. You always will.
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